About tyrobenz refers to how I came to buy my first Mercedes-Benz, but it glosses over how good "The German Lady" actually was.
After paying very little money for her, I got home and I couldn't believe my luck. A 1976, W116 280SE which had only one previous owner who had obviously loved it. I bought the car from the son of the previous owner, who was selling it on behalf of his father who had become too frail to drive it. Luckily for me the son had no interest in keeping it.
Externally "The German Lady" was growing old gracefully and sported a few battle scars including a cracked windscreen and some minor scratches to the rear passenger side wheel arch, where the lack of a door mirror had obviously caused some issues with reversing. Thankfully a tow bar had protected the rear end from any damage reversing may have otherwise caused.
The front number plate showed some signs of "character" which I believed was caused by parking the car in a small garage where the nose needed to touch the front wall to allow the garage door to close. We have to remember this was not a small car, at almost 5 metres in length, it later became know as the first Mercedes-Benz S-class.
At almost 5m long, no one would say she was small
"The German Lady" came with a fully documented MB service history, and looking back through the service book I could see that the she had been driven across Australia and back to WA. A service stamp by garages on both sides of the country is an insight into how this car was cared for.
For six months I drove her exactly as I had bought her before saving up some money to take her for a service and health check up. Just by chance, I came across a local garage called Precision Auto Care, where another W116 was parked outside. I made a few enquires and found out that the garage owner's family had previously been a Mercedes-Benz specialist, so they knew exactly what to look for when servicing the car.
After a full check up, no major issues were found other than the odd oil leak.
During the time "The German Lady" and I were together I had no idea that the MBCCWA existed, and it wasn't until a few years later that I found out Precision Auto Care was a supporter of the club!
As you can perhaps tell already, the "The German Lady" holds a very special place in my heart. I recall picking up my girlfriend at the time, now wife, in this car and the look of bewilderment on her face. I suppose you never think the guy picking you up on a first date might be driving a car older than him, haha. (Editor's note: I was actually bewildered by the fact that Simon looked so small! I later realised it was because his car was so friggin' big!)
It didn't take long for the "The German Lady" to become the third wheel in our relationship, but she was lovingly accepted and eventually we both ended up driving her, even taking her on our first holiday to Dunsborough in Western Australia which was a 500km round trip. We had never taken her that far but she did us proud and didn't skip a beat.
If my friends thought I looked small driving such a large car,
my wife at 5'3" looked positively hilarious!
"The German Lady", Whalers Cove, Dunsborough 2009
"The German Lady" became so much a part of the family that when my now wife made a gingerbread house for our first Christmas together, the car featured alongside the rest of the family, including the dog, in gingerbread form complete with a marshmallow badge and skittles for lights. It was brilliant, and tasty too!
Over the months the crack in the windscreen started to spread towards the edges, it was getting dangerous so I had to get it replaced. I called my Insurance company and they organised the replacement for me. I agreed to leave the car in the driveway while I went to work. To my horror, this is what I found when I got home:
What you are looking at is the work of someone who had no idea what they were doing!
By the time I got home the windscreen replacement company had closed for the day and hadn't even bothered to try to call me. The next day, after hardly any sleep, I called the company to find out what had gone wrong. I was furious but tried not to show it. The man I spoke to told me the installer they had sent had put the new glass in put had no experience in re-fitment of the chrome trim, so he had decided to just leave the bits in the car and go to the next job! I was asked to bring the car into their workshop so that their "experienced installer" could complete the work in a controlled environment. With little option I agreed and dropped "The German Lady" off later that morning.
By the afternoon I was told the car was finished and to come and get her. I left work and headed over to the workshop. When I got there, what i saw stunned me.
My car was still in the workshop with the chrome trim still inside, the only evidence that someone had touched the car was the massive blobs of black mastic stuck on the bonnet and even on the rear quarter panel!
Needless to say, I lost it! I stormed into the office and demanded my keys. The receptionist seemed confused as to why I was so upset. I took her out to the car and pointed. I told them to give me all the trim and to do nothing further. I check all the parts were there and took "The German Lady" home, gutted at the sight of her with her trim missing and the rain water seeping around the side of the windscreen.
I called my insurance company and told them what had happened and they were fantastic. They told me to take the car anywhere I wanted to, and that they would pick up the bill. I found a reputable company who evaluated the problem and by the end of the week she was home, as good as new.
To be honest, this was the only real issue I had during our two years together and it was hardly the fault of the car. Sure, she was big, thirsty and underpowered (especially when the air-conditioning was running), but she was so comfortable and reliable.
I had to have the exhaust manifold repaired and wheel bearing replaced but other than that she didn't really need much else.
Writing this post has brought back a lot of happy memories, but has also made me very sad. So much so, that I have just checked the Western Australian Department of Transport website and found that "The German Lady" is still registered. I can only hope she is in good health and still on the road. I wonder who owns her now, what state she is in, and if the owner would sell her back to me?
The German Lady loaded and ready to take me kayaking
If anyone knows where "The German Lady" is, can they please let me know? Her registration plate is XNN 247. I sold her to a man in Lesmurdie WA, who unfortunately I no longer have the name, address or phone number of.
This is the last photo I have of her at our house under renovation, it would be great to bring her home as a companion for UGU.
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